Realistically, how this all came about

My fiance and I met in 2003 and started dating in early 2004.  We dated for a good four years and he asked me to marry him in 2008.  Nice ring, down on the knee, the whole shebang.

Somehow, 2013 rolled around and we still weren't married.  Nearly ten years together and not married.  That's just... bad.  I actually looked up whether Massachusetts has commonlaw marriage (it doesn't.) We had bought and sold a house, started a business, started a different business, quit jobs, got new jobs, and went back to school.... and just failed to have an actual wedding.

Why the hold up?

Because every time we started to try to make plans for a wedding, one of the following would occur:

1.  I didn't like the typical stuffy, bland, cookie-cutter venues.
2.  I didn't like the weirdos that inhabited the more quirky, offbeat venues.
3.  I discovered that I am more of a bridezilla than I had previously imagined. Nothing was 'just right.'
4.  We would almost nail down a venue/date and someone close to us would suddenly announce they were getting married that same day.  This happened more than once!
5.  We would faint from sticker shock, and when revived, would just give up. 

I never really dreamed about getting married as a little girl, and I am not a huge fan of the traditional church/banquet hall/white wedding stuff.  I mean, most weddings are pretty boring.  And they all kind of start to blend together after a while.  And it's crazy that people are spending huge amounts of money to have essentially the same kind of wedding as everyone else they know.

But then.... we went to a friend's wedding in an orchard that was just amazing.  They had hayrides up to the ceremony site, overlooking a valley.  They had a huge patio that was wonderfully decorated.  They had a delish barbeque company doing the cooking on site.  They had a magician, and a fire dancer, and break dancers.  The whole thing was fun, different, memorable, and also elegant.  I thought, "They've set the bar high."  Suddenly I realized I DID have very specific wants when it came to our wedding.  I wanted something just as fun and unique.  Turns out that's a taller order than I had imagined.

I couldn't find the right place.  You can't start planning a wedding without a venue.  A few times we almost settled upon something very unique and outdoors, but then I would start to freak out about all the details I would have to personally arrange.  Tent. Table and chair rental.  Linens.  Fancy porta-potty rental.  A stage or something for the band.  Dance floor? Yeah, I guess you need one if you're setting up a tent on grass, dontcha... on and on, until I said "aaahhh! I can't do this!" and would resign myself to settling with a more traditional venue... you know, like one that already has bathrooms.  That doesn't seem like too much to ask.

So, when you realistically have to adjust your expectations, you start looking for alternatives.  I started googling things like 'cheap brides' or 'budget weddings' and found only really two trains of thought.

1.  What is considered a budget wedding is often still WAY out of my comfort price range.
2.  The suggested alternative is a courthouse wedding.

Come on.  There has to be some middle ground out there.  Let's get creative, people!

Modern weddings have just taken on monstrously unrealistic proportions.  They turn out not to be very much fun for anyone, way too much money, and too much pressure.  Your parents probably don't understand the insane amount of pressure to have everything perfect, and your grandparents would probably choke on their prunes if they had any idea how much you were planning on spending.

Here's my deal.

- We've already been together long enough that at this point, everyone's expectations are refreshingly low!  My sister said "There's no shame in having a potluck."   Allright!  Basically anything in which food is offered will seem like a step up in her eyes!

- We are too old to ask our family for money.  They've already helped us out enough during the course of our lives.

- IT'S JUST ONE DAY.  Yes, I want it to be a special day.  But no day is worth spending $10k+ to me.

- We want to go on a honeymoon.  So many people we know are spending so much on their wedding that they don't have anything left for a honeymoon.  That tradition is important to me, so, we're including that in our cost budget.  My ultimate goal is $5,000 total.   $3k for the wedding, $2k for travel.  With sites like Groupon Getaways and Travelzoo, it seems doable.

So I'll post whatever, whenever I have anything to share about the quest for the $3,000 wedding.  Stay tuned.

By the way, we're getting married in October.  More on the date in the next post.