Sure, you can try to set a date first, but that's putting the cart before the horse. What if you found out your venue of choice was booked?
You can't even remotely figure out a budget without a venue. The cost of the venue + food is the single biggest expense of most weddings, no matter how you slice it. You could borrow a neighbor's field for $0 but then pay $2500 in rentals for tent, tables, chairs, etc etc etc.
Figuring out the place, time and major costs is the first step, and it's a step that took me five years to complete.
We looked at everything. From the classiest, swankiest banquet type places to a weird rock formation garden in the boonies. The latter of which looked pretty neat on the website:
But when we made an appointment to visit, we just kept driving by, because from the road it looked more like this:
Seriously, we were too scared to go down the driveway. Maybe it was really cool once you got back there, but I did not wish for my guests to be surprised with the same sense of horror I had when I first saw it.
Next up, we looked at Six Flags. Don't laugh. Six Flags New England has a wonderful picnic area separate from the park. You walk down a wooden trail and over a large, picturesque bridge to the pavilions. The main pavilion is not some cheesy metal roofed thing. It has wooden beams and feels almost like an indoor space. They opened the bar area to reveal a gorgeous, intricately carved wooden bar they rescued from an old Springfield hotel before it was torn down. With some decorations and lighting, the place would be amazingly beautiful. Yet in the distance you can still hear the muffled roar of the old wooden Thunderbolt coaster, and the screams of delight/terror wafting on the wind over the pond.
We both love amusement parks and this seemed like a fantastic idea. They have a package price for groups that for each guest included free admission to the park, free parking, and lots of food.
But the lady scared me away. We met with this lady and she introduced us to the pavilion manager who was super cool. He was like "we can do anything you want. Just let us know. " He said they had specialty menus for anything: lobster, steak... he said they could get us heaters if it was going to be cold, help with more elegant table rentals if we didn't want the picnic tables. But every question I had for the woman, she couldn't answer. Could we rent it for evening? (Most picnics occur in the daytime, obviously.) Could we hire some of the actors to come by? "I'll have to ask..."
Okaaay. The kicker was when I asked if we could take our bridal party onto the Cyclone after the ceremony.... you know, for the funny mid-coaster pictures. I figured it would be cool if we just skipped to the front of the line since we were planning on dropping many thousands of dollars for this event... and the ride operator would surely be able to see a bridal party coming from a mile away. She suggested we buy Speed Passes for our bridal party to skip the line. Um, I don't think so. She also claimed there was no handicapped parking access to the picnic area (for my very elderly grandmother). Which is bull, because they will allow trucks into the picnic area for deliveries and such. She said we would have to park her in the regular parking and then borrow a wheelchair. If you've ever been to SFNE, you will know that the parking area to the picnic areas is a LONG way.
It was going to be $5k before any alcohol (and the alcohol was EXPENSIVE). And I would need linen/table rental. And they were just being wishy washy on everything.
I am terrible at demanding things. So the idea of having to pull teeth for a simple request was a huge turn-off.
We saw the Look Park Garden House in Florence, Mass, which is a beautiful space, and would be my #1 choice for something traditional. It doesn't feel like a bland banquet space. They have lovely exposed beams and a huge fireplace. There are nice dressing rooms for the bride, and a bar, and access to the park of course. Within the park there are several locations for an outdoor ceremony if you choose, for an extra fee of course.
That too was pricey... something like $2k just to get the space, then choosing from a list of preferred caterers, the cheapest of which was still going to be close to $2k.
Finally, we decided to book the ceremony and reception at a local restaurant owned by a friend. We're not getting any kind of crazy deal (I don't think), but it's much more pleasant because we know the owner and I'm not afraid to ask questions or ask for something a little unusual.
HOW I'M KEEPIN' IT REAL:
- We booked a Sunday to keep costs low. The restaurant can be 'bought out' on any night, but they are usually closed on Sunday. By choosing this nontraditional day, we are not interfering with their regular business.
- We chose a holiday weekend (Columbus Day) because most people won't have to go to work on Monday. So in this case, Sunday is more like Saturday in that regard. Columbus Day weekend is not a huge major holiday like 4th of July, so most people don't have big plans in place.
- We are inviting family and close friends to the ceremony and dinner; after that, the bar will be open for additional guests. (Cash bar at that point.) That way, we can go crazy inviting people to the 'afterparty' without incurring higher costs.
More pros to this plan:
- Ceremony and reception in one place. Nice and easy.
- There are ample photo ops around the building.
- No weird wedding venues add-ons like 'cake cutting fee'.
*overall huge sigh of relief*
It's amazing what you can start putting into place once you have a venue and date! Stay tuned...